For eight years now, the mysterious international social club BeautifulPricks has shied away from direct media coverage. Founded by two prince charmings – Robert Hintze and Greg Hodge, BeautifulPricks is a place for “aesthetically pleasing people to meet other aesthetically pleasing people.” To put it in terms us common folk can understand – “no fat people.”

To join this social club, you must submit ten undoctored photographs highlighting your physique. Over the course of the next three days existing members of the opposite sex will vote whether you have the looks to become a member of BeautifulPricks.

These gruesome vanity tests do not stop here. All members must continually submit additional pictures of themselves to remain in the club. People who are deemed too beautiful must submit daily pictures to verify they are actually beautiful. According to Greg, “We follow these gruesome procedures to root out imposters and ugly graphic designers with good Photoshop skills.” For example, three months ago a “Trinity Peterson” was caught using photos of her ex-boyfriend’s hot sister to stay in the game. “Trinity” whose real name still remains undisclosed turned out to be a 30-year old fat Asian chick with stubby legs from New York City.

Recently, BeautifulPricks made headlines across the world when they publicly expelled 5,000 members for “gaining holiday weight.” While there have been multiple mass expulsions in the last few years, this recent cleansing is the largest to date. Out of the 5,000 people who couldn’t control themselves from gorging down that extra turkey leg, a staggering 70% were Americans.

To make matters worse, two recently expelled Americans managed to get their hands on the following photograph of Robert Hintze, the fat guy on the right. “We got expelled because we put on a couple of pounds. That’s fair. But why does that fat fuck get to stay in the club?” asked one of the two ex-BeautifulPricks.

The board of directors of BeautifulPricks is currently in deliberation over what to do about this scandal. It turns out for the last couple of years, Robert, like Trinity Peterson from New York City, had committed the same crime of using illegitimate pictures to stay in the club. The board’s decision is expected in the upcoming weeks.