朋友们，同事们，妈妈。前两天在咨询过一个算命先生后，我们决定去中囯避难一阵子。我们被告知在未来的一年内停止撰写这些美丽的博客文章，因为显然届时我们一直取乐的那个网站将被一个巨大的失败的互联网公司购买。我们等不及这一天的到来。请不要忘记我们。我们将回来复仇。2011年再见。
After another year of disastrous sales, Westman Kodak’s senior leadership team decided to completely revamp the company’s business plan from the grounds up. As many analysts have predicted, Kodak’s late entry in the digital camera arena caused the company to fall more than a decade behind its Japanese competitors when it comes to the underlying [...]
San Francisco police was called to the home of Le Go-Go Group CEO Eric Schmidt yesterday afternoon to control a domestic dispute. Several neighbors dialed 911 when they heard usually loud screaming and shouting coming from the Schmidt residence around 4:30pm. When SFPD knocked down the front door, the two officers described a chaotic scene. [...]
After twenty-two hours of closed-door deliberations late Sunday night, America’s largest fast food chain McDonald’s agreed to purchase news aggregator Digg for $50 million in cash, stocks, and Deluxe Crispy Ranch Chicken BLTs. While this acquisition may seem odd to main street rednecks, talented Wall Street gurus at Goldmen Balls approved the deal. Full-time coffee [...]
For eight years now, the mysterious international social club BeautifulPricks has shied away from direct media coverage. Founded by two prince charmings – Robert Hintze and Greg Hodge, BeautifulPricks is a place for “aesthetically pleasing people to meet other aesthetically pleasing people.” To put it in terms us common folk can understand – “no fat [...]
Fabian’s report was filed from the Mountain View county jail. After an unsuccessful attempt to sneak back into Le Go-Go’s headquarters to recover his grandma’s moving picture camera, he ended up spending the night behind bars. Le Go-Go Group proudly announced the highly anticipated Nexus One device yesterday during a morning press conference. While Wall [...]
The country of YouTube is under siege by an army of anonymous warriors wearing V for Vendetta masks. Reports from YouTube’s capital Schmidtville describe a city on the verge of panic and disorder. In the message disseminated to a group of 1.8 million anonymous followers, the war is being fought in protest of YouTube’s unfair [...]
International conglomerate Le Go-Go Group has done it again. The company is set to unveil a new device that will “revolutionize communication”. After the Go-Go Wave and the Michelle Obama incident, we are eager to see if Le Go-Go can bounce back into the hearts and minds of common folk. We have front row seats [...]
Times are tough throughout the Golden State as our economy slowly recovers from its hangover. While value stores and fast food joints are seeing abnormally high profits, decades old family-owned restaurants are being hit especially hard. In the last three months alone, nearly 4,000 family-operations were shut down due to their inability to compete with [...]
Apple Whole Food Market (NASDAQ: AWFM) is known for its array of innovative, high-class fruits. Designed by Apple botanists in California, grown in the lush jungles of Taiwan, Apple produce are envied by fruity middle-aged health fanatics worldwide. In the last decade, the sudden crazy for healthy, easy to consume fruit provided a tremendous boost [...]
