TechCrunch.NET is a publication recording the thoughts of noted Luddites, Lord Percival Wilmur Carnegie VI, JD, PhD and Duke Fabian Cedric Bristowe the Bold, JD PhD. Dictated, transcribed by hand and distributed all over the world by carrier pigeon, their words celebrate the pursuit of life untainted by social networks, clouds, and other things 2.0.

Lord Percival Wilmur Carnegie VI, J.D., Ph.D.

Born Percival Winthrop Ignatius Lowell Morris Ulysses Reginald Carnegie, MD in balmy 20th century June, Lord Percival worked assiduously to shorten his name and reverse his medical training in the early years of his life. This done, he promptly decided to create a name for himself as a practitioner of acupuncture and black magic.

Duke Fabian Cedric Bristowe the Bold, J.D., Ph.D.

Born Fabian Cedric Bristowe, the Duke earned his A letters in the charter class of Oxford University, then writing the curriculum for and establishing the law school in order to earn his higher degree. He earned his epithet, ‘the Bold’ by facing down the most vicious Catholic nun in all of Great Britain in his schoolboy years.